Do you still feel loved by your partner? Are you both struggling to communicate and be understood by each other? If the answer is yes, then consider participating in relationship therapy. This process is meant to not only to improve your communication with your partner, but also to be more connected too.
Relationship Therapy: What Isn’t Working
Almost all couples experience friction in their relationships. Yet for many people their relationships have reached a low point. This can occur because of:
- Blaming one another
- Being angry with each other
- Keeping secrets
- Talking over one another
- Failing to have compassion for the other person
- Not listening
Over time what starts out as small slights can turn into bigger confrontations andarguments. In the process feelings get hurt and the resentments build. Without help this trail of hurt feelings can lead to separation and divorce.
Relationship Therapy: Identifying Patterns of Behavior
Participating in relationship therapy can give you the chance to identify these negative behavior patterns. You may not even realize you are doing these things, which just creates more damage. Your therapist can be that third party that helps identify these patterns and brings them to light. By knowing your patterns of behavior, you can begin to make different choices with how you interact with your spouse.
Relationship Therapy: A Safe Place To Talk
One advantage of seeing a couples counselor trained in relationship therapy is that the time you, your partner, and the therapist spend is meant to be a safe place. Sometimes we just need to get our emotions out, knowing that we won’t be punished for what we feel. A couples counselor can help to moderate discussions to make sure things don’t get out of hand. Even if things get heated, the therapist can “hit the brakes” before it is too late.
Relationship Therapy: Learning New Skills
Another strength of participating in relationship therapy is that it can be an opportunity to learn new skills that you can both apply to your marriage. For instance:
- Learning how express your feelings appropriately.
- Developing awareness as to how your actions affect your partner.
- Being able to really listen to your spouse.
- Not “jumping the gun” and reacting when you disagree on a particular point.
- Learning how not to take things personally.
The skills you learn in relationship therapy can help you to express yourself in a healthier way. They can allow both of you to be feel more understood. This, in turn, opens the door to dialogue and melts away the walls of resentment that have been built up.
Everyone wants to be understood by others, especially if it is the person whom they love. When we get into arguments with our partner, the reason is because we don’t value what our spouse has to say. Have you heard yourself say or think, “She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” or, “He’s so stupid.” If we don’t value our spouse’s perspective it is difficult to value them. Relationship therapy can ease the tension and provide context so that each of you can better understand where the other is coming from. More understanding can mean more compassion, which fosters love.
It can take a lifetime to get a marriage right, but many just ignore the warning signs until it is too late. Instead of letting your marriage crumble, take a step towards getting things right. By participating in couples counseling, both you and your spouse can get the chance to talk about what’s going on. By learning new communication skills and developing more understanding, you can proactively address your struggling marriage.
If you have additional questions, or if you believe that relationship counseling might be beneficial for your marriage please call Philip at (813)-651-1221.